My boys always loved superhero movies. We saw the last two Avengers movies in theaters - despite my worries about having to choose between either using a public bathroom or holding it for 4+ hours by the time we count the whole movie, the trailers, and the drive home.
And honestly, as much as I love some Thor, Iron Man, or even Deadpool, I think there’s a very underrated superhero out there that hasn’t truly had a movie made about her yet: Mom!
Let’s be honest here. As moms, it all falls on us. Men aren’t asked how they balance work and family. They’re not asked for their secret brownie or Swedish meatball recipe as if it’s a given that they have one. People don’t act shocked when dads say they choose to work.
Dads are praised for wanting to be a part of their kids lives, as if it’s some unique character trait that few have. But if a mom chooses to let her children’s father have custody for a good reason, she’s still crucified because she’s a mom and therefore, she should both want her children with her and never see any other living situation as being good enough for her kids. And at the same time, moms are also crucified for denying the father time with the kids.
Now don’t get me wrong - I’m not dissing dads. Dads are awesome! And they’re value and importance in a child’s life should never be diminished. But we all know that they get a lot more slack when it comes to parenting than we do. Even when they’re a single dad, like us, they get more slack. They get more offers to help, more advice, and more sympathy and empathy than moms do.
We have to cook dinner, help with homework, oversee baths, clean the whole house, make lunches, do laundry, sleep, shop, work, stay home with the kids and protect them from everything - including other kids, other family members, and global pandemics. If we’re a single mom, we’re supposed to date, but keep our kids separate, martyr ourselves for our kids but also have a life separate from them, teach them they’re the center of our world while also making them independent and generous…
There’s a lot of contradictions, and a lot of hard ass work, in being a mom, isn’t there? And that’s why I think we’re superheroes. Because despite the contradictions, we still manage to do and be exactly what our kids need when they need it. And no matter how hard the work is, we don’t give up - we just keep right on going.
You deserve to have a movie made about you. You deserve to have books written about you. Parades thrown in your honor. A national holiday in your name. You work hard! You shoulder so much responsibility every day.
Unfortunately, I’m not in the movie business, so I can’t make a movie about you. I could write a book about you - but there are so many of you and I can only write so fast. We could all band together and work on getting a national holiday going and throw a parade on said national holiday - but I think we already have enough work to do, don’t you?
So here’s what I’m offering you instead: a break. Take a break, just a few minutes to yourself, where you do nothing.
This week, I’m offering you my Short Break Meditation for Mom. It’s a 6-minute meditation that you could save on your phone to do anytime, anywhere. Sit in the car, at your desk, at your dining room table. Do it while you wait to pick the kids up from school, before you make dinner, after breakfast. This meditation is your quick go-to when you just need a minute to yourself. No complicated visualizations, no long meditation that you need to make time for, just a super simple, breath-focused, easy meditation break for you.
But that’s not all! I’ve got a second meditation for you this week. I’ve talked to a lot of people over the past week. And while things are improving in a lot of ways, one thing I noticed was that there are still a lot of people struggling with stress over Covid. I talked to a mom whose son is struggling to adjust back to going to in-person school. Another who is wavering in whether or not to get the vaccine. One who wants the vaccine but can’t get an appointment without driving so far away that she’d need a hotel room. One who doesn’t want the vaccine but is being pressured by family, her ex, and even her employer. A mom who has resorted to canceling cable and setting limits on the internet in her house to keep her teen from obsessing over the latest reports on the pandemic. One who feels guilty for putting her teen on antidepressants because her teen was struggling with depression from not being able to see friends for so long.
I can’t fix those problems - believe me, I wish I could. All of these moms, and you, are doing the best they can to cope. No one should be feeling guilty or ashamed. I wish I could make all that go away.
Which is why I’m also giving you a Coronavirus Relaxation meditation. It’s a 7-minute meditation to help you relax, ease the tension, and basically give you the permission you might be feeling you need to just let go of all of it.
You’ll also find last week’s shower meditation in there, if you didn’t get it last week.
Before you go, I’m working on a new class idea. I’d love to hear what comes to mind when you see/hear, “Mom’s Messy Meditation.” Hit reply on this email and share your thoughts with me!
P.S. You can check out next week’s class schedule here. I’d love to see you in one of the live classes!